Saturday, June 14, 2014

Single Mothers: You are NOT the Father!

FDMom
"Mama, will you come and play football with me?"
I can't tell you how many fingernails I broke running routes with my son in the backyard.
I taught him how to throw a football.  I enrolled him in track.  I taught him the proper form for runners.  I was at every football game and every track meet.  I did all of the things that fathers should do with their sons.  But I am NOT his father.  By sheer definition, it is impossible for me to be a father.
A father is  a MAN who has begotten a child; a MALE  parent.
I am not a man nor do I desire to be.  I am my son's mother.  I am not, nor will I ever be able to take the place of his father.
There are a plethora of reasons that women are left to raise children on their own.  Some of those reasons are out of our control.  Some of them are not.  
As women, we can control who we give ourselves to.  We can control our own reproduction by properly protecting ourselves.  If by chance, you made poor decisions about who you gave your heart and your kitty to, forgive yourself and forgive the man too.  But do not try to put yourself in his place because those are shoes you can not fill.
There is a sinister plot of the enemy to devalue the role of men in the family.  Admittedly, some men have contributed to the ill feelings that women often harbor towards men.  Father's Day, however, is not the time to cast those dead beat stones.  Father's Day is the day to celebrate the men who stepped up to the plate and accepted their responsibility like real men.  If your "baby daddy" or ex-husband is not one of those men, that doesn't give you the right to to take credit for "being the man"  in your children's lives.
You are the woman.  Be proud of that and stop being greedy.  Your day was in May.  This Father's Day, allow God to heal you of any hurt you have experienced because of failed relationships and broken dreams.  If you will release the anger and pain of the past, you can make it and you will also be in a position to receive love from the next man who comes into your life.  
I'm telling you what I k-n-o-w, know,  the only person you hurt by holding bitterness in your heart is you.  
You are NOT the father.  Let these men enjoy their day.









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