As she walked down the aisle of the grocery store, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She saw me looking at her and she gave me a look like, "B*$#@, what are you looking at?" I wasn't offended. I ignored her obvious annoyance with me.
I simply smiled at her and said, "Your hair is beautiful!"
And with those four words, her entire expression changed. Her face softened and she returned my smile. Her eyes lit up as she said "Thank you!"
Women are so hateful towards each other. We laugh, snicker, giggle, gossip about each other and we are in constant competition. Some of us have attitudes towards women that we don't even know. We often encounter the sideways looks and snooty glances of other women. How sad.
And what is it all about? Why do we do it?
<b1. Because we don't love ourselves.
It is difficult to see the beauty in others when you feel so bad about yourself. So if you feel inadequate, for what ever reason, it seems to be human nature to automatically criticize others to bring them down to your size.
<b>2. Tick, Tock...Waiting on Clocks
I'm ashamed to admit it but I watched the Flavor of Love fiasco, One, Two and Three. It was...entertaining. Full of what I expected. Women cursing and behaving unseemly, breaking their necks to win the clock from a man that they wouldn't give loose change to if they saw him on a city sidewalk. And I watched the show, laughed at their antics, heck...I even DVRed it in case I missed something.
Anyway, as entertaining as the show was or as pathetic as it was, the truth is, most women, not all, but most women have experienced their own Flavor of Love moments. We may not have played that drama out on TV for millions to watch, but we have all starred in a very similar show.
Don't think so? Well, let's see. If you have ever argued with a woman over your no good cheating man, then you've had a Flava moment.
If you have ever watched your man kick it with another woman in your face and he become indignant when you question him about it, then you have had a Flava moment.
If you've ever had sex with a man, or cleaned his house, or washed his clothes, or paid his credit card bill or lowered your standards, went against your better judgment, turned your self inside out and upside down to make him give you a chance, then you have had a Flava moment.
The circus called "Flavor of Love" and subsequent shows after it, is a microcosm of what women experience on a regular basis. We mostly hate on each other because we are after the same man. So we will claw another woman's out, belittle her, lie on her, start rumors about her, because we want the clock.
<b>This is how we can stop hatin' on each other.
Recognize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and you are a jewel. When you recognize that, you will stop being intimadated by other women who are fabulous as well. In fact, you can celebrate who they are. You can tell them they are wonderful, beautiful, gifted, talented...
You can also get the revelation that you don't have to compete. What's yours is yours and nobody can get what's yours. And if anybody tries to take it, you go to the One who gave it to you and say, "Look, God. You gave me this and Sister Watermelon over there is trying to take it. Let her know it ain't happening and bless her what her good thing so she can leave mine alone."
Uh, but you can't do that if it's not yours. So make sure what you are trying to hold on to is what you are supposed to have.
Sistas and "Sisters", let's stop the hate. Let's build each other up and stop letting petty differences keep us at each other's throats.
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Let's use our hands to build each other up, not tear each other down.
Sherraye
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