I didn't cry about Michael's death until I heard that there was a possibility that he may have committed suicide. There was talk about how much debt he was in and how much he still suffered from childhood trauma. He was so misunderstood, yet seemingly had such a good heart.
I cried because I could identify with the pain. I understand what it's like to be misunderstood and to be lied on, criticized, ostracized by people who don't even know me. They just HEARD something about me and took it as gospel.
So, I wept for Michael and I wept for me.
There is a high price one must pay to walk in the places that a man like Michael Jackson walked in.
There is a loneliness, a feeling of isolation, insecurity, low self esteem that no one understands. You learn how to smile when on the inside you are dying. You learn how to laugh and tell jokes to mask your pain. Instead of confessing that you're hurting or you're weak, you become combative and argumentative and down right mean to keep people from walking over you. So people think you're tough...but if they only knew.
If they only knew the nights you cried yourself to sleep. If they only knew how many times you contemplated suicide. If they only knew how many notes you taped to the night stand because you made up your mind that tonight is my last night.Me and Mike are not alone.
The Prophet Jeremiah suffered from the spirit of depression and suicide like no other Prophet. When Jeremiah received the call from God, he didn't respond like some of us may have. When we go to service, and someone calls us out and tells us that God has called us to ministry, we feel special. We feel honored. We think it's a wonderful thing.We meditate on the accolades we will receive.We have visions of people applauding when we walk into the sanctuary.We think about world-wide ministry and the notoriety that comes with that.We start looking at airplanes and private jets.We imagine the entourage that will travel with us.We see ourselves living the life.
But Jeremiah saw something different because he knew that the life he was being called to would not be easy. He knew that his ministry would be the object of ridicule, disdain, and persecution.
In fact, God didn't even tell Jeremiah like he told Abraham that "in blessings I will bless thee." No. God told Jeremiah, "And they shall fight against thee..."Jeremiah's whole life was a fight. One battle after another. Not from the ENEMIES of Israel but from the PEOPLE of Israel. He had to fight the people whom he had been called to serve. Now I could stay right there all day.
So Jeremiah suffered from depression and you know how depressed people do. They start talkin' crazy. Jeremiah cursed the day he was born and cursed the man who told his daddy he had a son. He said he wished he had died in his mother's womb and questioned why he had been born in the first place. (Jeremiah 20:14). He lost his will to live.He got mad with God and said, "God you deceived me!" Anybody ever felt like God tricked you into obeying Him? Imma leave that alone.
But Jeremiah and Michael should have studied the life of King David. David also suffered from rejection afer rejection. He was hurt many times but you never read where he became overwhelmed because one thing David knew how to do...He knew how to pray!
He knew how to praise and worship his way into the presence of God.David took his isolation as an opportunity to get to know God. David was not accepted by his family so he would find himself on the side of a mountain, alone with the sheep and he took that time to fall in love with God.
He wrote songs that only God would hear.
He read poetry to the Lord and wept in His presence.
He sang to the Lord and blew Him kisses.
He danced in God's presence when no one was around.
If only Michael had known how to do like David.
Michael could dance his fanny off but if he could have only danced like David danced!
If only Michael had known that in His presence there is fullness of joy.
In His presence, He will give you strenghth for the struggle.
In His presence, He will speak a Word in your spirit that will carry you through.
So when trouble knocks on your door, and it will. When you feel overwhelmed by the troubles of this world, run into the presence of God. Cry in His presence. Weep in His presence. But don't give up in the face of a fight. For the suffering of this present time is not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us.
Til next time....Sherraye
I cried because I could identify with the pain. I understand what it's like to be misunderstood and to be lied on, criticized, ostracized by people who don't even know me. They just HEARD something about me and took it as gospel.
So, I wept for Michael and I wept for me.
There is a high price one must pay to walk in the places that a man like Michael Jackson walked in.
There is a loneliness, a feeling of isolation, insecurity, low self esteem that no one understands. You learn how to smile when on the inside you are dying. You learn how to laugh and tell jokes to mask your pain. Instead of confessing that you're hurting or you're weak, you become combative and argumentative and down right mean to keep people from walking over you. So people think you're tough...but if they only knew.
If they only knew the nights you cried yourself to sleep. If they only knew how many times you contemplated suicide. If they only knew how many notes you taped to the night stand because you made up your mind that tonight is my last night.Me and Mike are not alone.
The Prophet Jeremiah suffered from the spirit of depression and suicide like no other Prophet. When Jeremiah received the call from God, he didn't respond like some of us may have. When we go to service, and someone calls us out and tells us that God has called us to ministry, we feel special. We feel honored. We think it's a wonderful thing.We meditate on the accolades we will receive.We have visions of people applauding when we walk into the sanctuary.We think about world-wide ministry and the notoriety that comes with that.We start looking at airplanes and private jets.We imagine the entourage that will travel with us.We see ourselves living the life.
But Jeremiah saw something different because he knew that the life he was being called to would not be easy. He knew that his ministry would be the object of ridicule, disdain, and persecution.
In fact, God didn't even tell Jeremiah like he told Abraham that "in blessings I will bless thee." No. God told Jeremiah, "And they shall fight against thee..."Jeremiah's whole life was a fight. One battle after another. Not from the ENEMIES of Israel but from the PEOPLE of Israel. He had to fight the people whom he had been called to serve. Now I could stay right there all day.
So Jeremiah suffered from depression and you know how depressed people do. They start talkin' crazy. Jeremiah cursed the day he was born and cursed the man who told his daddy he had a son. He said he wished he had died in his mother's womb and questioned why he had been born in the first place. (Jeremiah 20:14). He lost his will to live.He got mad with God and said, "God you deceived me!" Anybody ever felt like God tricked you into obeying Him? Imma leave that alone.
But Jeremiah and Michael should have studied the life of King David. David also suffered from rejection afer rejection. He was hurt many times but you never read where he became overwhelmed because one thing David knew how to do...He knew how to pray!
He knew how to praise and worship his way into the presence of God.David took his isolation as an opportunity to get to know God. David was not accepted by his family so he would find himself on the side of a mountain, alone with the sheep and he took that time to fall in love with God.
He wrote songs that only God would hear.
He read poetry to the Lord and wept in His presence.
He sang to the Lord and blew Him kisses.
He danced in God's presence when no one was around.
If only Michael had known how to do like David.
Michael could dance his fanny off but if he could have only danced like David danced!
If only Michael had known that in His presence there is fullness of joy.
In His presence, He will give you strenghth for the struggle.
In His presence, He will speak a Word in your spirit that will carry you through.
So when trouble knocks on your door, and it will. When you feel overwhelmed by the troubles of this world, run into the presence of God. Cry in His presence. Weep in His presence. But don't give up in the face of a fight. For the suffering of this present time is not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us.
Til next time....Sherraye
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